When I first saw Times Square, I felt like I was in a movie.
Did New York meet my expectations? After a short time living in the States, I quickly realized that big cities are not my thing. The size of the buildings was both awe-inspiring and terrifying. Despite this, I must admit that I was initially captivated by this country… but only at the beginning. My enthusiasm didn’t last long. With each passing week, I got to know America from the other side, not the cinematic one, but the real one. Even though I didn’t have much free time due to the Au Pair program, I managed to experience new things, such as attending parties like those in “American Pie.” Red cups, alcohol, homelessness, drugs, and sleepless nights were the norm in New York. At least, those were my impressions at the time.
I seriously considered returning, realizing that this city might not be for me.
I have always deeply believed that people are inherently good and generally do not want to harm me, so I couldn’t understand where this feeling of unease was coming from. I supposedly had a place to sleep, food, and pocket money for basic expenses, but something was missing. From being an extroverted Magda with many friends in Poland, I became a closed-off person who couldn’t find even one friend. I did have a small group with whom I went on various trips and met for coffee, but it wasn’t the same. Another blow was that I had decided to join the program with my best friend, with whom I lost contact after barely three months in the States. Another issue during my early days in the United States was the English language. It had always been my Achilles’ heel in school; while I was always talkative, in English classes, I was silent as a grave. So you can imagine how I felt when I had to use it every day after moving to the USA. Moreover, in New York, I was not only forced to speak English, but I also had to face various accents and dialects due to the city’s multiculturalism. Many times, while shopping, I wondered if they were even speaking English.
